What if Santa has Coeliac?

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Have you ever stopped and wondered how Christmas would be different if Santa was Coeliac, what would go through his head at every house would he be expected to bring his how mince pies to each house?

Last updated 8th August 2025

Published 5th December 2018

What if Santa has Coeliac?

It's nearly Christmas and the big man will be making his way down your chimney, but what if Santa Claus has Coeliac? He's traveled all the way from Lapland with his reindeer companions and an elf or two, to find...what? Mince Pies? Cookies....

What exactly would play out if Santa has Coeliac.

What mince pie would he have?
Surely it's got to be decent M&S gluten free ones. Can't go skimping on the mince pies for the man in red.

What if they haven't left the box out so he can't check the ingredients.
Oh no, don't want to have to come down at midnight to find the big man dangling over the bin trying to find the box. (Or maybe they should just sticker our gluten free stickers on everything for him)

via GIPHY

Oh no, home made cookies, that means Santas raiding the cupboards to find if gluten free flour has been used. Don't want Father Christmas raiding your cupboards, he's partial to eating everything, all that expensive gluten free food will be guzzled right up.

He hopes you leave out Sherry and not go for the beer instead, that's asking for trouble.
Go traditional, you can't go wrong.

Oh no, crumbs from the kids and has that knife been left from Mrs Claus none gluten free cakes CROSS CONTAMINATION NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
He's sure to be worried the none gluten free houses, how's he suppose to finish dropping all the presents if he's glued to someones toilet!

via GIPHY

He'll just have to go looking for clean utensils in the kitchen Uh oh, more drawer and cupboard rooting, he's a nosey so and so!

Or, maybe he should just brings his own mince pies and cookies
He has to take his own treats to the Elves Christmas party so why should eating out be any different.

Better safe than sorry, he can just share carrots with rudolph
I'm sure Rudolph will be very happy about losing his midnight snack.

via GIPHY

What's the deal with "reindeer food"? Who decided to contaminate everywhere with oats Guarantee they aren't gluten free ones and there we go with contamination again!

What happens if he suddenly gets glutened effects on the sleigh?
Now that's an image which is going to give me nightmares for years. I've heard of yellow snow but not brown snow.

Surely someone must have asked for toilet paper for Christmas?
People do ask for toilet paper as gifts right...you know some really expensive, luxurious one, every Coeliacs dream.

Ah well wrapping paper will just have to do
No toilet paper on the sleigh....only one thing for it. Anyone who gets unwrapped presents this year...now you know where the paper went!

Anything else you think Santa might have to consider if he has Coeliac, let us know in the comments!

Alison Peters
Alison Peters has been Coeliac since June 2014 and launched Coeliac Sanctuary in August of that year, and since then has aimed to provide a one stop shop for Coeliacs, from blogs, to recipes, eating out guide and online shop.

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