10. "No, it's not free, you have to pay Madam"
We just don't want to pay for the pleasure of eating gluten. Obviously.
9. "I'm on a gluten free diet too, I just don't eat bread any more"
8. "You can have a bit occasionally can't you"
Yes, if I want to destroy my intestines and sit on the toilet for a day or too.
7. "Is is contagious"
Yes, stupidness is contagious.
6. "I wish I had Coeliac so I could lose weight"
I wish I could lose weight, do you know how much sugar is in gluten free substitutes? Just eat healthy you muppet.
5. "Gluten free? So you can't have milk, that's gluten right?"
Some Coeliac's can't tolerate dairy, but no, gluten isn't in it.
4. "So can you eat gluten yet?"
I could if I wanted to stay in bed for a week.
3. "Of course our chips are gluten free, the heat of the fryer kills it"
I've no idea who told people this.
2. "Do potatoes contain gluten?"
Depends if they have been playing around in the flour again.
1. "You are a celeriac?"
Yes I am large swollen turnip (ok that could be true in some peoples cases).